DUMB SHIT CHRONICLES😅

A show of hands if you read the title and instantly laughed✋🏽😅. So,what dumb stunts are this you pulled that got you laughing at yourself😅?I'll go first,if you thought me and my cousins burning my grandparents farm was dumb,well I'm here to make you think again.😂😂😂😂😂😂.

The year is 2004 and my younger self has just discovered the value of money. My mom used to give me cash to get myself a snack for school,you know,only child chronicles.😅😅😅,I was such a little brat I swear. No wonder they got me a sibling to terrorize my world😂😂.

Okay so it reaches a day I decide mom's giving me too little ksh,so guess what I do,i rob my mother😅😅,I know ya'll thinking this bitch is dead because no one in their right minds would steal from an African mom,itss straight up suicide. I take 100bob from her purse. You'd think the dumbness ends there😅😅,Nope,I go buy an entire pack of sweets,duuuuh,rookie mistake number one. Something in the shop catches my eye,a sexy ass barbie doll in a punk ass outfit,I wanted it soo bad but I was thirty shillings less. I contemplate robbing my mom again but that would definitely be trading on a dangerous road.

So guess what yours truly does,I break five bob into shillings and colour that shit up with a pencil and before doubt creeps in I go get myself that doll and the shop keeper doesn't even notice😅😅😅,he infact gives me change. So now I feel really really smart. Rookie mistake number two,thinking I'm smart,it was only adrenaline,that rush you get when you think you've gotten away with something.

At this point the litu devil inside me had awakened and I do it again😅😅 and again and again colouring my money to millions honestly at this rate mimi na watu wa Wash wash tulikuwa na difference kweli😅?

The biggest mistake I made was recruiting members,now that definitely is how I got caught,rookie mistake number three,they really don't lie wakisema the days of a thief are numbered. Ushai fika home ukapata umepangiwa vita? Rolling pin,mwiko,metallic hanger, ofcourse slippers kama kawaida  and nowhere to run🤦🏽‍♀️😅. It was a long ass evening and the beatings didn't even end there. The next morning nikifika shule I find my wash wash crew kneeling outside the gate and immediately the teacher sees me,he goes," aaaaah ndio huyu kiongos,tumkaribishe kwa makofi jamani😅😅,we are all here because of her."

Long story short,I couldn't seat down for days, my horns got tamed for some months because fortunately or is it unfortunately🤔that was never the end of the dumb shit I pulled. Ntawakaribisha major league soon😏😅😅😅.